If you follow me on any social media account you’ll know that I’ve had some rather funny discussions with Victoria about why she thinks we should be allowed to wear shorts in the dining room. She recently offered to write a guest post for me and I of course decided it should be about her one true passion: shorts!
Beware the below post is really funny. Although I don’t necessarily believe that shorts belong in the formal dining room I certainly am not going to start an argument with Victoria about it.
Hi I’m Victoria and I’m scandalous
Dictionary definition of scandalous: Causing general public outrage by a perceived offence against morality or law.
Cruise ship definition of scandalous: Wears shorts…
Depending on the person slinging insults my way scandalous is also interchangeable with: Inappropriate, vulgar, unpleasant, too modern and my firm favourite ‘lowering the tone’….You can even find a description of my families clothing on cruise critic alongside that last expression. Ladies and gentlemen all of this because I’m a 23 year old in 2017 who loves to wear shorts.
Unlike everyone else in the cruising world I quite firmly believe in shorts in the Main Dining Room on smart casual nights. For the simple fact that trousers are leg prisons!!! #freethelegs Now I am not saying everyone grab your speedo’s, trunks, football shorts or gym shorts and hit up the dinning room. Those things are in fact scruffy and vastly inappropriate.
On land, the place most of us unfortunately reside, for most of the year. Shorts do come under smart casual. Yes, they come with certain stipulations but you can wear them in a country club without anyone acting as if you have committed some heinous crime against humanity. Those stipulations tend to be centred around the expression ‘dress shorts’ – Dress shorts are basically tailored shorts that are made of chino type material and on Men they have to hit in the region of their knee’s. On women they’re not fussy about the length the rule is basically that all your body parts have to be inside them. Ain’t nobody want to see your butt jiggle as you swan through the country club.
Now if my shorts are smart casual on land then why aren’t they at sea? If men are permitted to wear shorts on land then why is it a crime at sea? And the most important question of all why in God’s name can a man wear a kilt but not shorts? Dear cruise lines, men wear nothing underneath kilts…You do realise that right? So you’re okay with them going all free willy in the dining room. But you’re not okay with seeing their legs…WHERE IS THE LOGIC?
My poor Dad has never got away with shorts in the dining room. Yet, I do it multiple times a cruise. Really its only a matter of time until someone sues the cruise industry for being sexist and objectifying women. Its sexism to not let men wear shorts in the dining room because both sexes are not being treated equally. And its objectifying women to say well women can wear shorts because our legs are long and hairless. Of course, the flaw there is that a man may shave their legs and it may be a woman who has gone native and decided to braid her leg hair instead. Bet they never envisaged that.
Now why you ask why am I considered scandalous if I’m permitted in the dining room in my shorts? The simple answer is that while none of the staff are offended by my legs; the rest of the passengers certainly are. I get it, my legs are not the most attractive, they are often very very bruised. Despite my Mum chasing me around the cabin in an attempt to put foundation on my little boy legs. But bruised or not its still pretty weird of you to fear my kneecaps because if I was wearing a dress you’d still be able to see them.
There is a certain kind of person that has a fear of my long legs…Old people, yes, people are going to say I’m ageist. But honestly nobody under the age of 60 has ever passed comment on what I chose to put on my body. So look old folk, I don’t care for your hideous outfit either! Stretchy pants and a sequinned top does not an outfit make. But you don’t see me insulting you in the dining room. People say that todays generation have no manners but I say we have significantly better manners than our elders. I don’t go around dictating to you so please lose the superiority complex and don’t dictate to me.
They’re just legs! It’s 2017 shorts for women have existed a long time now. But perhaps what I find most annoying about the whole shorts debacle is that I have not met one person with the balls to say it to my face. I’m sure the older generation have lived through things that my young mind could not even begin to imagine. Its a shame really that they didn’t amass any courage or maturity along the way.
Whispering or speaking just loud enough for people to hear as they walk past; is petty and immature, it’s what teenagers do at the back of a classroom to make someone else feel uncomfortable. Maybe thats your intention, maybe you think if you make me uncomfortable you will shame me into wearing a dress like a good girl should. But you underestimate me…
Nobody makes me uncomfortable! I have never given a sh*t what other people think of me. I am who I am and I am fine with that. All you are doing is annoying me. So to the next person who even thinks about passing comment: I am flexible enough to stick the offending limb in your face and I will thrust it there quite violently. Needless to say you won’t think you’re very clever when your dentures are flying across the dining room.
To the progressive cruise lines like Norwegian who do not believe in dress codes: I applaud you.
To the cruise lines still living in the past: I love the cruise industry and always will but please stop perpetuating the cruel need for leg prisons.
To everyone who judges my love of shorts: Please think before you speak, I never used to wear shorts because I hated myself so much that I couldn’t look in the mirror without crying. It was a long hard journey to body confidence. Just let me enjoy it.
You don’t have to wear shorts. You put clothes on your body that make you happy and I will put clothes on my body that make me happy. Deal.
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Well wasn’t that an interesting insight into Victorias world?! I’m certainly not going to stop her from wearing shorts in the formal dining room. I don’t think I would ever want to wear shorts to a formal dinner but I don’t think I would mind if other people did, if they were ‘formal’ of course.
What do you think about this? Let me know in the comments.